SO to make a long story short because i typed out all the details before and don’t have the energy to now 😠 we did not end up making out because i ruin everythingggg ✌️😤 we were talking for a while and started talking about serious stuff and i got kinda sad and really anxious and opened up to him about my mental health lately and aghhhh he’s just so freaking sweet and perfect like i don’t understand he literally just got down on the floor in front of me and held my hands and we talked for like an hour. he knows what to say to help me calm down and i 🥺 he’s also really gentle and listens well when it comes to my self harm and i love him so much for being so kind about it. i told him how i haven’t done anything since Halloween and he knows that and he also knows a few months ago when i flushed the blade but i tried to tell him that i was scared because i already have another one back in the bathroom even tho i haven’t touched it and he was like “i figured you did. i haven’t gone through what you have personally but i know it’s hard to not have one on hand but i have a strong feeling you won’t use it.” but what killed me the most was when he said “it hurts me so much to see the girl i love in pain” ENENAKRLLEKFN 😭 also i don’t think i could’ve made out with him bc i literally just still don’t feel anything when we kiss idk 🤷‍♀️ like he says I’m good at it and he loves when I kiss him but i just?? idk it feels like somethings missing. i thought I’d be over it by now but I’m not :/ and it’s not that i don’t love him, he’s the love of my life, i just can’t? kiss him continually? like i just feel nothing and have no motivation to

it’s so nice that he’s so sweet to you and understands and listens to you 💗 you shouldn’t feel bad about yourself for having to wait 💗

I’m the same with kissing 😭 I like short kisses but long make outs aren’t my thing, I feel nothing. I’m so glad your man is so amazing to you, it makes my heart full 🥺❤️

with me, I talked about how I was feeling very self destructive today in text to tristin and he hasn’t even mentioned it :(

he left me,,,,,,, on read,,,,,,, hmmsmdmmdmdm

I'm so happy that you found someone so sweet and understanding! And I think it's pretty common for one person in a relationship to be more receptive to physical contact and things like kissing. As long as you can both communicate and talk about it and be honest and it's not one-sided it's not a death sentence I promise