so after this weekend I'm going to tell my best friend I've been selfharming since January and idk how she'll react... she'll be very hurt at the least and I feel so bad, but I can't stand lying to her anymore... I felt really in control of it before, only doing it like three times a month but now it's twice a week but I don't really know how to tell anyone that I feel like I'm drowning because they'll want to help me stop and... I don't want to stop? I know it's so bad but I don't want to stop, so I don't know how to tell anyone. my best friend gave me an ultimatum a long time ago: either I start really trying to fight the urges or we can't be friends, because she wanted me to understand how serious it was. that's why I haven't been able to tell her. we had the concert last weekend and now Easter, and I didn't want to ruin those things if we can't be friends anymore. but I can't keep lying to her. it's time to face the consequences of what I've done.

I get how you feel, and how your friend feels. While it isn't good that you're self harming, I understand not wanting to stop. There are some habits 'n such you just have to eventually want to stop in your own time. While I can't say if this is one of those, it kinda seems like it

Akdhiensis yeah that's what I meant

all of my dad’s church pals think it was foul play that Notre dame caught on fire but I’m more pressed about the 207+ people murdered in Sri Lanka on Easter... that’s not getting near as much press time.