WOW

SOOOOO GOOD!💕💕💕

I don't know how you do it, but you manage to genuinely blow my mind each time I see some of your art (and yes, I think it's art because it is so intensely BEAUTIFUL).💗

Wow🌻 this art is so incredible😍😍

Mind = blown. Stunning.

*jaw drops*👏

HOLY SHÎT your editing skills are beyond amazing.

This is so different and unique. I love it 💕

WOW JUST WOW 😱😍 My eyes have been bless 👍👌

thank you

I don't believe I have; what is it?

this is sooo perfect🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

yeah, I always have my morning tea :)

i'm not sure where i found it. i collected it awhile ago. i did find out that it was from a lana del ray (i think that's her name) sorry i don't know which one.

a lana del ray music video sorry i forgot to mention that

I shît post too often to ever be on the pop page. I don't know if anyone would actually want me on it because I don't make collages often and I don't make cool ones because I'm a lazy àss. Idk. It'd be cool, but I don't have anything to really offer that many people on here would like.

Dang 😳 that's a long time. See I can never tell because some people start and by the end of the week they're at 10k and I'm just like "ftw how". But the people seem insincere when you get followers that fast. I really wonder how many people have accounts on this app, in all. That would be interesting to know

oh. my. gosh. I C A N N O T believe that I have only JUST found your account. I'm so amazed!!! your account is INCREDIBLE!!

thank you so much!!! ❤️ yes I'm enjoying it

Unfortunately, I'm miserable sore. 😶 That's what I get for deciding to go around the lake one more time on he tube I guess! 😂 I have summer band for three hours in an hour a I'm still hoping that holding my clarinet won't hurt. 😂

I am glad you understand me too! ;) I can´t put emojis, since I don´t have an Apple device, so... Aaaaanyway. But yes, I´m deeply in love with all the Lunar Chronicles so I hope I will soon get Winter (I read them in Spanish, so it may take a bit more, but I´ll tell you as soon as I´ll find it.

And my summer is...ok. I mean, it hasn´t been that boring, but not that awesometo say I am on a trip in Europe or something like that...Btw, where do you live? Speaking of countries, of course. Aaaand, how´s your vacations? :)

Thank you for the quite generous compliment😌 all the lovely messages everyone leaves me really do mean a great deal. Thank you for your unwavering kindness😊✨🌙

I LOVE THIS

I shouldn't laugh but St. Mungo's got me... Mom does have her number but I don't know when she wouldn't be busy. She's gone on vacation I think, and plus, I don't know how I could talk to her without telling mom and dad, which I don't think I can physically make myself do. I don't want to disappoint them but it's obvious I really can't make normal decisions right now. They knew something was off today because I was slightly more exhausted than usual and I was groggy. But how do I tell them without them thinking I'm a suicidal head case? Even though I'm the one dealing with this, I understand it just as much as anyone else. I'm almost apathetic about taking pills until after I've taken them and feel like shît. A normal person's brain would say "NO BUENO DONT DO IT AGAIN" but mine wants to do it again, wants to test, wants to see what happens. It doesn't help that I'm an eXtrEmeLy curious person. And I've always wondered what would happen if I took enough to have bigger hallucinations, like maybe I could see some people again. But to do that I'd have to take forty or some shít and I'm not willing to take that much at the moment. Then again, I never thought I'd take 15. I can't promise what I will and will not do because I don't know. I don't think I will. Maybe I just needed to be reminded "yo that's shîtty, have you forgotten??" and the fact that I can't tell shît if anything else I saw last night was a hallucination or not. All I know for sure was the spider/beetles, but I can't recall if anything else was out of place. I don't think so. But I can't explain this self-destructive apathetic thing I have going on. It's like the "eh fûck it" philosophy, the only way I can fight against myself, only satisfying way I've found to fight anything overwhelming. I did tell the counselor about me taking too many benadryls, but I don't think she got the idea of how many, and even then I said I knew the amount I was taking wouldn't hurt me at the time, which I've done lots of research on it and it all varies so that's why it's dangerous with this one. Some people have died taking 12, others have taken 400 and have survived. It all just makes me think about Chris and the time he apparently said to mom and dad "I don't think I can trust myself" very melodramatically or something. like he was going to hurt himself. Mom said he grabbed the knife in front of them once, and I'm like, bitçh that shît is for show. He has never dealt with this initiated self harm problems, he was just trying to be an attention whøre. That's another reason I don't want to talk about it or come clean because they'll think I'm just like Chris, when really, Chris wasn't suicidal. He was just being fûcking dramatic. I'm not suicidal, but I might appear to be by anyone who doesn't understand this stuff. And mom and dad certainly don't understand this side of the depressioñ spectrum. Dad says he's had bad thoughts before, but. Never a plan. Never self harm. I'm the only one in the immediate fam who's resorted to it. I sincerely am apathetically making these decisions, knowing they're bad, but not giving quite enough of a fûck to stop. The cûtting won't harm me, the weight loss won't until I become underweight which is vvvvv far away, or unless I consistently lose weight too fast. I'd have to be 98 pounds. I am definitely not that. And i can't starve myself that easily in the summer, and neither can I cut because I only do it on my one arm. Sure I could get an infection, but I cut on the top of my arm, not so much my wrists because I don't have anything sharp enough to make them bleed very well (such morbid lol). So if I am deprived of two, I'll go to the third. That's how it's been. So either I go back to cutting, which feels pointless to me by now and is harder to hide, I try starving but realize that I can't when I'm around my family all day and ultimately can't starve, then my brain resorts to the only other method I've ever used. And I already know the effects of ten, of 12, so why not 15? Why not 20 after that? It keeps going. I used to be afraid of taking one. I just don't know anymore. I don't know if I can talk to anyone or if it'd help anything. When I told them about it the last time, they should've been more selective of where they put the Benadryl, so I wouldn't even be tempted. But they trusted me because I'm great at keeping promises usually. And peeps really don't need to trust a person who is mentally crazy in some way. I'm not like Chris, "afraid I might hurt myself", I know I already am and will, and I don't know how to come clean about these things.

that shît is long wow I'm just dun

And mom and dad both have to use Benadryl for medicinal reasons, so I sadly can't burn them without them just being restocked 😂😂

the counselor only knows about the weight loss, but i told her I just didn't like food as much anymore or want it, not because I wanted to be skinnier or anything. which is pretty true, but definitely not the whole reason. she knows I'm either a self harmer or suicidal because I couldn't open up when she asked. that's why when she gave us her card she made sure to say that we could call her anytime, or if we couldn't reach her, call 911. but I really don't know what I am. I'm afraid that all of this will get me killed so I'm prepared with goodbye messages, and I always assumed that if life got to the point where I felt it wasn't worth living I'd just down a whole bottle of pills. But I'd have to be past the point of return to even want to do that because taking that many makes you psychotic and hallucinate like crazy and you can't go out honorably; you'll most likely cause so much attention to yourself that you'll get your stomach pumped in time. So I'm not suicidàl, I'm just prepared I guess. Not sure for exactly what. Mom and dad reacted pretty well to Chris, it was just how he treated them that scares me of telling my parents because I know that they're afraid I'm a carbon copy and that I'll end up being the same person as him. So I don't know if I would be able to make them understand. And yeah; that's why I finally came clean about some things to my teacher friend in the first place; I was afraid that I'd follow suit and make the same mistakes many others in my family have made, like Tommy. It's been my biggest fear for a while. But then I was told I was just making a cry for help, in the sense that I was threatening to do this shît. No one let me explain that I had already done lots of things to myself multiple times and was afraid that I'd go too far without anyone knowing and dying alone and painfully or some shît. And no one listens, blah blah, here I am having taken 15 pills. I can't see her next week because we have fûcking VBS and I'm??? that's not my priority???? I'm salty because I need to get this off of my chest so badly and I'm going to be so much worse when school starts back. I need to tell my parents but I don't know how. I'm sorry. I hope you have a good night's rest.

No, that's fine! I'm so sorry for bothering you so much. And I'll be sure to do that the next time I go. I'll ask mom today if I could have the counselor's number just in case it's needed in the future. Thank you so much for all of the advice. you're really an amazing person.

This collage is so unique and creative, I'm absolutely in love. Just stunning.💖

this is beautiful!

thank you! that is one of my favorites as well😌 I don't know the people of course, but I don't think anyone does. They are probably very old, or possibly deceased by now. But still remembered by people like us. It just seems like a lovely moment in time. How I wish I could have a time device to be in. To truly be in. I suppose the best I can do is dream myself to such a real and authentic moment in time...😌✨🌙

through art...💫

I have thought that for so long, I came to believe I was the only one who felt such a feeling! People would always ask me why I liked photos of people I didn't know, and why I held their memory so close to my heart. I try to tell them about the beautiful, but also very big responsibility we have as a new generation to create a new image for the world and ourselves, while still keeping in mind others of the past. Not just others that we learn in history. Do not get me wrong, them too. Indeed them too. But also the others. The others who have lived, loved, and left us only with smaller impacts on the world. Not everyone can be the first president of the United States or have been an Alexander the Great, and conquer the known world😄 But there were also people. People who were just people. They did great things in small ways. Changed the world in silence. Everyone wants to be remembered. Even if they didn't paint Starry Night. I know I do. I guess in all this long windedness, what I am trying to say is yes. I do feel that responsibility to remember the old. I feel that it is essential to keep in mind while creating a new that is hopefully best for as many as possible. Human or not. And that is important. I hope there are beings like us in the next generation. Souls that would like to keep our ideas and physical captured moments alive, and so on✨🌙

WOAH!!!!!!

love this💗

AMAZINGGG

thanks sooo much!!!

This is kinda really amazing 😂

I haven't read Paper Towns yet, but I really want to read it 😭😂