17/2/19 First of all, the quote is from a song by Birdy called “T Shirt” which I would fully recommend listening to as it’s so cute 😍

Basically, me and the boy are still in love but atm we are still keeping it secret, despite the fact we’ve been seeing each other since last July, it’s my first romance and I’m terrified of what others will think because it’s a 6 year age gap, he’s the same on that too because of the age gap

Partly because as well, my sister has had 2 boyfriends in her life, she’s younger than me but she never lasted long in either of those relationships and I’m worried I’ll get my heart broken because of so many people have treated me badly over the years

Not in the way of boyfriend girlfriend relationships, but being boyfriend and girlfriend is a big commitment and I don’t want it to go horribly wrong as we were originally best friends, and I don’t want to ruin the friendship side either

Also, my depression literally controls me and I don’t want to let it affect the relationship but it does, and I’m worried about it affecting me and him if we make it official, because I care about him

As I mentioned in my last collage, I have severe body insecurities and I currently can’t offer him every psychical side of me at the moment, hence why I’ve told him quite a few times I’m not worth it and he should leave me now if he wants a more physical relationship, however he says he will stay which is really sweet, but I feel bad 😔

On the plus side, he’s kept the promise we made each other (that I will work on my mental health a bit, and he will find a job, he struggled with confidence side of it if that makes sense)

And also, he has told me that he doesn’t need to take his antidepressants anymore because of me, he says I’ve helped him such a lot which I’m thrilled with because I’ve always put others before me, I try to make things a bit easier for people because I know how hard life can be, so I do random acts of kindness regularly

So basically I’m scared, scared of everything going wrong like it usually does in my life, scared of my future, scared for my mental health. I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to make it in life, I just wanna cuddle up with him and tell him all of this in confidence 😔

Thank you if you read to the end, it means a lot to know there’s someone who will listen to all my sad rants xx

1. this is so cute. you both sound so cute. I ship it. I wish I had it. 😍😘

2. I understand the insecurities, maybe not to you extent but I understand. however don’t feel like you HAVE to offer him everything. if he is willing to be there and help protect you (keeping the secret and all) then he is a caring keeper of a boyfriend who would understand the need for time and self care/betterment (cuz that’s a word)

3. I ❤️ u (it just needs to be expressed, the world needs more love out there) 😁

4. take it slow, don’t doubt yourself too much and communicate with him. I know it’s clique but communication with anyone about anything really IS key

❤️❤️

also the collage is gorgeous

(reply) I seriously ship you both, oh my gawd. also I cannot agree with you more about how fudging awful boys our actual age can be

(reply) thank your for the confidence, it was needed and appreciated 😘