okay, part one, here we go 😂

let me just start by saying that I think we write kind of similarly, so it’s super hard for me to come up with constructive feedback because it’s like trying to find out what’s wrong with something I wrote, and if I knew that then I would be better at writing. you know what I’m saying? 😂 anyway, loving it so far, super intrigued by these characters

I just love the imagery of them sitting in the grass in the moonlight

I’m not sure that her reaction to “you need to leave” is super fitting. of course, I don’t know any details of the situation yet, but it seems like him saying that made her relax when I would imagine it having the opposite effect

ahh “look at me and tell me you don’t love me” IM INVESTED NOW!

(excuse me if I wrongly assumed genders here)