*but we were texting about it today and I told him how scared I was and he was being super sweet and told me he doesn’t want me to worry and that he guarantees I’m probably good at it anyways but ahhhh I’m still scared send help. like a lot of people say your first kiss is so underwhelming but other people say it’s really amazing and everything they dreamed it would be??? idk maybe it will be w James since I really really like him haha at least it’s not w someone I’m iffy about 😂 it’s just strange bc it’s happening so late for me with me being a senior and all. literally not only is he my first boyfriend this is my first DATE I’m going on. I’ve never even been asked to go on a date lol. also I turn 18 in January and he turns 17 in March so for a good month and a half we’re gonna be two years apart 😂 besides that it’s just one year so I don’t really care and I told him I’m sorry for the age gap and he was like “are yo serious? I scored a gorgeous senior how did I pull that off” 😂. dude the second our music theory teacher finds out she’s gonna FLIP she’s the best I love her

also if we can’t find anywhere to be alone at the fair on Saturday and kiss then we have noooo time until after marching season bc of my dad. if my dad wasn’t a chaperone we’d probably find a place outside at school away from everyone after a band event at like midnight but my dad is always there waiting to get me since he’s there anyways 😂 also y’all know my dad is chill so he’s already fine w James but y’all know how crazy my mom is and surprisingly she’s FINE and EXCITED about me going out w James??? probably since Emma’s dated two guys and I haven’t so it’s about time for me haha. I just don’t know how they’re gonna feel about me wanting to go over to his place soon. I told James there’s nooo way he could come here since I share a room w Emma anyways and there’s no where in my house we could even hang out alone and my parents probably wouldn’t let us anyways and he said I’m always welcome at his house and that his parents are gonna love me so there’s that difference 😂 he wants us to watch all of the Star Wars movies and I’m SO DOWN but idk if my parents will let me. like I said my dad is super chill but that might be where he draws the line.

Don't feel bad for being "old," I'm 20 and I've never even come close to my first kiss so you're not weird or anything

don’t freak out and just let it happen 😂 I tensed up during mine and he called me “grandpa lips” for a while... 😒😂