i need to stop lying to myself just to please my friends. i can't even tell my emotions from the ones they encourage me to feel. i like a guy. today he asked me what the one thing is that i never want to lose. i realized that even though i care way too much about so many things, nothing came to mind. i want to find importance and happiness in things again. he also asked me what the one thing i thought about most today was and i realized it was him. i didn't tell him. he's asked me out before but i've always made an excuse to say no, i hope i didn't ruin things.

ahh do they know they're doing this?? your friends should support you

^^