4/4/18 Going through a stage where my brain slips in and out of depression. Nobody knows I’m suffering with depression, I’m too scared to tell anyone because I’m worried I’ll get treated differently

I did try to reach out for help once, with my confidence (I did have depression then but I didn’t mention that) and I got treated like an alien if that makes sense, they didn’t have any sympathy and didn’t help me one but. Then one day they just stopped seeing me and trying to help, just ditching me with any notice. Which is why I’m not getting any help as I don’t want to be treated like that again

the bit that hurts the most is the fact that everyone thinks I’m complete fine, when in fact I just need someone to reach out to me and just ask me “you ok?” if that makes sense, but nobody has ever assumed I suffer with depression, nobody has ever asked me about my mental health

At the end of the day, I just need a real life support buddy (You guys are great though) that will just cuddle me when I’m feeling depressed and convince me everything’s ok whilst I cry into their shoulder. And I know I need to tell someone, but I’m honestly too scared to as I don’t want to be treated differently and I’m too scared people won’t understand

I try to be strong and face my life with depression, but as of right now I’m just feeling a bit overwhelmed as I wish my depression would just go away (although I have been happier in the past month, this time last year I was in no fit mental state at all)

As the song This Is Gospel by P!ATD says, “The fear of falling apart”

sorry for the rant, I just needed to tell someone about how I’m feeling, I promise I’ll be feeling fine tomorrow 💙

Hey, I completely get being scared to tell someone how you feel. It's scary, more than a lot of people without mental illness could understand. I'm glad that your friends on this app can help, and I for one am happy to do that if it's helping to make someone else better, but you're right. It's good to have someone to talk to irl as well. I hope you find someone who can fill that role. For now, tell me if you need anything. You may not have told anyone what's going on in person but I'm glad you post about it here so that we came help you. 💙💙