In the end I wish I could know if it all ends up okay

Maybe because I'm always worrying but I wish I was dancing and maybe because I'm usually feeling the kid of lonely where you are surrounded by people but you yet feel lonely

Because I'm always feeling careless because I've been feeling like nothing matters and I've let go, but yet I feel still so in deeper in the well. Because I feel guilty I'm not doing enough while my mom does the world for me

Maybe I'm just doing this cause I needed someone to talk to and you always give the best advice and I'm just trying to figure out if n the end it all turns out alright

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I disappeared and no one knew what happened to me. Not in a suicidal way, but in a sort of mystery way. Maybe it's because I don't get attention in the real world, but I don't think that's it. I think maybe it's just that I'd want to see how people react, because there's that saying: You never know how much you love something until it goes away. And I'd want to see if people would be devastated, or glad, or dismissive. Now that I write it out, I think I just want to know if I fill any sort of hole in anyone's life.