thanks Mars I'll probably will rant when things get to rough.......it's just everything was going so well until everything started falling apart so suddenly and if I get 1 thing back on line everything else changes it just came to the point where I'm putting my own happiness into other people and I'm just here feeling empty and numb

and tbh every since 7th grade I've been having bad mental health I'll become super insecure some days I regret existing and then everything else and people are suppose to be happy when people give them compliments right? how come I don't?.......uhhhhhh i think it's bc I just don't have time for happiness for myself anymore I'm just looking at the world being like what other people tell me to be "be a real person stop being so naive and be a realist not everything is so positive"

yeah.......I just feel useless sometimes.....but you see the problem is when I try talk to a friend or someone about this I can't describe how I feel like sometimes it's mix emotions that I can't explain

and I'm not sûicidal or anything.....well not anymore but I just sometimes feel like why do I exist when someone out there that is dead that was way more important or more successful than me

I'm sorry I pretty much just ruined your day that's my I don't like talking to people about this

*why

ok and oof I sound like a mess