don't say that

it's inappropriate

@sweetlittlepup , These are words of a suffering girl. I'm fine. I'm totally fine. I smile while I retain my tears every day. And that nobody notices because this is my little secret to myself.

I even created a text. Here it is : I am in love with you. I am sure now. You know ... you find it weird if you could read my mind. You know why? Just because I never know what I want. I'm never sure of myself. I never know if the choice I make is the right one. You know, usually the choice I think is good fall into the water. Deciding to begin a love story .. Losing a friendship. Stay friends .. Losing a love that could be sincere. I know that with you is like, I might lose you by making this choice, but I do it anyway. It's not that I care about you, no. If you knew ... If I were to lose you? I could not stand it. Never. I think I'd prefer to die or sleep without ever waking up like Sleeping Beauty. Except that even a kiss from you could save me. I need you. I do little more, believe me .. I only think of you. Would it love at first sight? The truth..? Actually, I've never really known. In general, it was only love affairs that fell on me. You know, the kind of guy who mates with you just to kind to his friends. "I have a girlfriend, you have seen." I do not like, I just want to hit me, to have interests me and discard. Then cry, maim, drinking to forget. A girl annihilated, destroyed. Disappointed this love she was crazy. Too often we fall in love with the wrong person or that you can not have, you did not notice? Maybe I could not have you, you too ... But at least I could release this painful weight and kept this pain in me. That of seeing you cuddle and spoil other girls before me. I never go to the criticized or insulted by jealousy, no. You see, even if it hurt me terribly, badly enough to die in my little heart suffering, I would not do that. Why? Because I'm just in love with you since the first time my gaze crossed like ... And I want you to be happy. For the stars made the mine. I do not think like the bad person, no. You're the only person who can make me tremble. Get fired by my pale cheeks rather rosy cheeks. The only person I think day and night. If you knew how it sucks. Yes, it sucks to be so far from you ... Do not be able to see you during the summer holidays. Is that we will still have to type in a long school year before the next holiday would be to review only what a small minute if your pretty smile. Your eyes on me. You know, the one that makes me dizzy. I love you, above all, to the stars, and even in high beyond. I love you and always love you. I know that our meeting was not by chance. Your path and mine are related to a specific reason. And I know, I feel it, I believe so. I need you to keep your hands as you hold their own ... To feel your breath beside me and be able to touch your lips as you touched hers ... I would give anything, really anyone anything to feel again what I felt when you sat to rate me at the party. This happiness and joy, for the other party was going on at the moment, with singers and dancers. Well .. Mine was going on inside me, with a simple heart beating faster than usual. Butterflies flying in all directions in my belly, and goosebumps when your legs brushed mine the foundation just to dimension. I'm crazy about you. I do not know if you take the time to listen to everything I tell you there but .. Know that all this comes from my heart, my little heart, all that's left of him. After all he has endured, because of having given to people who did not deserve it. I ... I know you you can have any girl you want, even prettier and thinner. I know I do not have the size mannequin and I'm not a beauty queen. But I just try to hope that I would be good enough for you. Anyway, if I told you all this is that soon I'd be gone so I do not care if your answer is no ... and yes, I did not listen when I told her mom that I not feeling well regularly and I vomited and fainted at school. And she told me to go to the doctor and I said no, I was fine ... Why? I was scared. I could not stay in a hospital, you see ... away from you. Not being able to see you, I knew it was not anything. But for you, I would have given anything, and I always give everything. For you and only you. Yes I do all this for you, as I write these lines you there. Probably my last ... I love you, do not forget it. I love you forever. Even in the highest heaven, I'll wait. Always. Your little crazy, Emily. »