tw I have jut felt so grosssss and tired lately ehhh esp because i cut myself for the first time in seven months the night of Halloween and I’m so mad at myself :( seven. months. and I ruined it. I told james about it bc I knew he’d see that I was off the next day and ask why and I didn’t want to have a break down so I texted him right after and we talked for a really long time and he knows I used to do it a lot and he’s being so gentle and kind. I don’t wanna stress him with this or make him worry too much because I am surprised I did it and now I’m planning on not doing it for as long as possible now but I can’t believe how he’s handling this so perfectly I’ve never had anyone react the way he does. like no matter what’s happening or how I’m feeling even if I’m laughing with other people he’ll find me during the day and pull me to the side and so gently ask if I’m okay 🥺 even my mom can see how much we already genuinely care for each other and her and I were talking about college this morning and I plan on doing community college/core classes at our city’s small technical college next year and living at home and then my sophomore year I’ll worry about art schools and applying for whatever major I choose I just know I’m not ready to move out so that’s what’s best rn, but this morning she was like “yeah that’s a good idea because you’ll still be here and we’ll be here for you and you’ll be close to James during his senior year” (and y’all KNOW how crazy she can get??) so I was really surprised she said that haha. anyways, I also took my second SAT this morning and uhhhh time was up for the reading portion and I had twelve questions left so i Christmas treed it :/ then I left some math ones blank bc I didn’t have time either. I just hope I get above an 1100. I hope y’all had a good Halloween!! and merry Christmas now 🎅🏻❤️

you’ve got a keeper. I’m so sorry you relapsed and I’m glad you’re sticking through it and he’s by your side. I’ve Christmas tree’d some parts too and hey I’m in college! I’m sure you did well.

I’m sorry you’ve felt so bad :(

Every day is a new day, don't be too hard on yourself. Just keep fighting. I know how incredible it is when you tell someone about self harm and they just respond with love and understanding, it's easy to forget that that's the way that people who care about you SHOULD be. I'm really glad you have someone to talk things through with, that makes a world of difference.