I've been struggling lately because I've been super busy (like constantly running from one thing to the next every day) but my mental health has been kinda terrible the last couple weeks so it's really hard to keep moving

I didn't even notice this, my bf pointed it out, but my mental health is pretty cyclical, I'll do really well for a few weeks and then really struggle for a few weeks. It's interesting because I don't even notice the pattern: when I'm doing well I feel like I've always been good, and when I'm struggling it feels like everything has always been really hard

But just like... SH urges are extra bad, I feel anxious throughout the day (doing Bible studies helps a lot with that but it's still there), it's hard to get out of bed, it's hard to focus, I just feel like a lack of enthusiasm and I feel tired all the time, every once in a while I'll start leaning a little towards suicidal, like I don't want to kill myself, but I do have to actively remind myself that I do in fact want to be alive, little things are just more overwhelming and it's hard to stay caught up on school AND chores. But when I'm doing well I feel GREAT, lots of energy, excited about lots of things, on top of my time management, just generally a cheerful outlook. It's frustrating because I know college in general would be SO much easier if I wasn't fighting with my brain so often

(re) yup!!

Aw tiegan I know how you feel and I hope you feel better if you need anything let me know

thank you for the tattoo advice! I’m so indecisive ahhh. I’m glad you do have a way to signal that the SH urges are bad. I’m in the same slump rn but am holding on hoping for the med increase my doc just gave me to pull through. doubt it will though :/ I wonder why it’s so cyclical for you; do you feel like you might have cylcothymia? I’m not too educated on it

all I really know is that there are cycles of mild hypomania and depression but at most you can be symptom free for two months. but also it said the depression can not be fully diagnosed as major depression so if you’re diagnosed/know you have that then I guess it’s not cyclothymia??? idk

that’s a really good idea to chart your mood! that’ll help especially if you see a doctor. some people don’t see a diagnosis as important but I think it’s helpful for understanding yourself and doing research, plus finding more effective medications. it gives me peace of mind so I hope you can get a diagnosis, get a therapist, just whatever you want and need. I wish I knew more about different things other than depression, anxiety, and bipolar because maybe you have something that is in those realms but in its own section of diagnosis. cyclothymia then might be possible if you don’t think you have major depression but do have bouts of depression and anxiety. sometimes it’s hard to recognize hypomania too if you have it. I look back now and wonder if I’m truly bipolar 2 because I had a loT more symptoms before I went on Lamictal that were more reminiscent of mania but hełł if I’m gonna go cold turkey and figure that out 😂 just please please please continue doing your best to love yourself and take care of yourself and I hope you get these answers