(i’d appreciate if y’all read all of this haha) first: so, yeah it really śùćkś that schools out for the rest of the school year. i can’t see my friends or play in an ensemble ever again or do senior handprints or eat bad school lunch with my friends and bf and idek if we’re getting yearbooks now. apparently graduation is still on, just pushed back into June. my mom is the bookkeeper for my school (does all the money and finances) and she said today our principal told her to go ahead and order caps and gowns so there’s a little bit of hope. he’s also trying to reschedule prom for the second time now, and try to have it a day or two before graduation. hopefully all this before James leaves for Connecticut the first and second weeks of July 🤞 also the band banquet has been moved to July 18th which is so weird to go back haha. okay next update: James and i’s SIX MONTHS is on sunday which is crazyyyyy. my mom was hoping she could drive me over to his house and we could see each other, just not get out of the car, but starting tomorrow (Friday) the governor is making everyone do a “shelter in place” so now idk if i can see him for that. or even our seven months in May :/ 🤷‍♀️ we’re planning on mailing each other stuff, it just obviously won’t get to each other in time exactly. next update: so first off i still haven’t applied for college. i really need to do that but thankfully deadlines are being pushed back and there are exceptions bc of this weird time of life rn haha. but here’s the thing, i haven’t been telling you guys, but this entire school year we’ve been extremely financially struggling. like so much to the point where Emma (my twin sister for those who don’t know) had to buy us all dinner a few times a few months ago. we literally had nothing to eat sometimes and would drag leftovers out for a few days straight bc we didn’t have money to buy anything. thankfully since it’s been getting lighter outside in the evening, my dad has been able to start painting houses and pressure washing for people and other stuff and he got paid enough for us to pay off some stuff and have enough food for once. so, i already decided to live at home next year and do community college here in my city. our two year lease is up in June and we have no other choice but to move in with my grandma a county away, maybe about twenty mins away from where we are now. i’ll have to share a room with my little sister who’s 9 and we’ll be there for about a year. (but actually all three of us will share a room until Emma moves out in August to UNG) this is all super embarrassing but i’d really appreciate some prayers or if you’re not into that or religious just some good vibes pls :/ my grandmas house is really gross and i’m scared of her dog and she doesn’t keep him clean and also i don’t want my cat to be uncomfortable or escape her house bc there’s stray dogs and woods everywhere there. i’ll still go to college and work in my current town where James lives and goes to school so i’ll be here to see him and i told him i’ll pay gas money for him to visit me although he’s so sweet he says he won’t let me 🥺 i’m going to anyways haha. he promised me he’s going to make my summer unforgettable bc of school being cancelled and me moving away but idk when this quarantine will be lifted and he’ll be gone the first two weeks of July, we’ll only have a few days before he’s got band camp at the end of July bc he’ll be a senior next year. i just.. agh im so scared of what this’ll do to us. he keeps promising me he doesn’t have any plans ever of us ending which helps me feel a lot better but kdnskwklfkdke..

anyways.. yeah life really isn’t the best right now and i just agh i’m sorry if i seem down or stressed lately or in the future. just ily guys and miss talking and i’m sorry if this is a lot 💕

i’m so sorry :( i know this sucks right now but i know you can push through it! :) i believe in you. sending good vibes your way <3

i’m so sorry :(( i know it’s not the best time right now but i swear it gets better❤️

I’m sorry 🥺💘 ik that you can push through this! sending prayers your way 💗

god I am so sorry :,( I’ll be sending prayers and good vibes in tandem