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I broke up with him ok I'm sorry *bites my quivering lip*
thanks, and why? u know how many times he gets heart broken, he already lost his dad, mom, brother, and his older sister
I get heart broken to I lost my grandfather on my birthday my parents are getting divorced and aren't fighting over me only my siblings my mom wants to put me up for adoption I lost my only older sister and no one loves me in Minnesota I got into a fight yesterday and now I'm bruised and hurt and my life is falling apart
his family got killed yesterday on his birthday, he has been crying all day long, but now he lost the person he loves the most
who knows how many times I tried killing my self and the only person I really ever cared about shot himself on my 8th birthday
and Steven oh god Steven he could be dead and it's all my fault
I have to go calm mike (Michael nick name) down
😔
bye
I better go check on Ben see if he is still on
*sits down* and another one down great that's a new record *tears starts streaming down my face* I'm a horrible person
plz don't be mad at me
look Ik, u still love mike, but Ik u also like Ben, but next time just do it a way that's not mean
I set it down gently I never wanted to hurt him and .....nvm
u can't just say nvm, woman tell me
thanks
I'm not a woman yet the drama that went on I thought he was getting tired of me and I don't just like Ben there is more to that ....... we shouldn't get into
lady, mike loves u more, then anything in the world, he smiles everything he talks about u. and lady pick who u love the most ok
*looks down* but the drama that went on idk if he can handle it
lady, he been in fights, and everything he don't care about drama, and he can handle anything
even fight with knifes and guns and dealing with almost going to juvie
he can't deal with me blabbing about me 24/7 it will get annoying and he will lose interest in me
lady, he won't stop talking about u not stop, he still loves u more then anything is the world
😔😰*faints*
he just left the house
y what happened is he going to kill himself no stop him can I talk to him plz
idk why he left, but I'm running after him
plz do I need to talk to him before anything happens to him
u still on plz
what!// Michael
*winces* I-I-I ......*cries*
I'm sorry
plz don't go I really am sorry
I'm sorry I yelled, I'm tired rn bc I been crying for 24 hours
*hugs u and cries* i'm sorry
-hugs back and sign- it's ok, u have nothing to be sorry for
I do I left u
Ik, and it ok
no it's not u love me and I left bc I thought u didn't
-sign- I will always love u no matter what
so even if I hade sèx with Ben u will still love me
ig idk -walks to the door-
don't go
plz I was just kidding
-looks back at u- u don't really need me, u got Ben now
I need u Ben is barely around he always leaves when we're in the middle of......nvm
and even when I tell him what bad things happened to me all he does is .......
like now he won't answer me
u still on
damń
what
that's wow
what* looks down crying*
nvm
-gets away from the door and walks over to u and hugs u-
*hugs back*
I hate myself
why?
bc I let him...... nvm
bc I got into a fight yesterday a physical fight with Makenzie and she pulled a knife on me
why? what did she do now?
she hacked my account and started talking to Ben about me and I told her she needed to get a life and to fûck off and she came to my house yesterday yelling at me and wanting to fight I accepted the fight and she pulled a knife out everyone around us ran and I stayed bc I wanted to fight to get all the other stress and anger out and so now I have cuts and bruises on me the cuts are deep but I can deal with it I deserve it
damń, that's messed up, ooooooooooooo..... um nvm
what tell me
I can't really remember if it was u or her, but I think she kissed me
that was her *balls a fist*
-sign- but I hope I didn't kiss back
*gets mad* actually u kisses her first than she kisses back but Ik u didn't mean to u didn't know
-sit on the floor and grab the box from under my bed-
*watches u and calms down frowning*
-opens the box and pulls out a book with pictures of me and my brother and sister-
*sits with u* what's that
a album of when I was a kid with my siblings
*looks at u*
-open it and see a pic of me as a baby-
aww that's cute
*frowns* I bet u miss ur siblings
I miss them a lot
*hugs u* I'm sorry I never meant to hurt u
-hugs back- it's ok I forgive you
I still don't forgive me
-kiss your cheek- look Ik what u did hurt me, but I don't blame u, u though I couldn't handle the drama, and u thought I dint love u any more
*cries and holds my hands over my ears* my parents are fighting again I hate it and yes I did but know I feel guilty for leaving u
-hold u and kiss your head- hey I'm here for u ok, it's ok, I'm ok
*hugs u*
I just don't want you to hurt yourself
-hugs u- Ik
promise u won't hurt urself
I can try
no u have to promise or I'll keep cutting or worse kill myself plz don't hurt ur self promise me
ok, ok fine I promise
*smiles and hugs u tightly*
idk if I could live with myself if u get hurt
-hugs back- yeah
*thinks: idc if I'm with Ben I still have feelings for Micheal* don't break the promise I have a blade in my pocket at all times
-smile- I won't break it
*smiles* ok
-kiss your cheek-
*blushes*
u are still cute when u blush
*smiles*
-bits my lip-
*thinks: Ik it's wrong but I just want to feel are lips touch once more* *blushes* I-I um.....
-grab your hips and kiss your lips-
*eyes widen but I kiss back*
-smile-
*looks at u shocked*
never think what I'm thinking -smile-
what
nvm lol
*thinks: now I've done it y did I think kissing him would make it better now I want him even more*
-smile and laughs-
no tell me and y did u laugh
I was thinking about kissing u when we started to talk, but at the same time I was kinda scared to, and I'm not laughing
*smiles* same here but I thought it would help now it make me want u more and......*looks down* that would make me a total slût
u are not a slút, and u will never be on
one^
how do u know I will never be one
plus I think it's wrong to want u even more while.... Ben
although.......nvm
bc u are different form the other girls I dated, u don't just throw your self on to boys, u wait until they make there move or u ask, the girls I dated throw there self at me and everything but I never gave them what they want
ur right but I've been called a slût before
Ik
by my mom, and a bîtch and a hoè and an idiot
u are none of those
*thinks I'm still gonna do it* *gets closer to u* *thinks : no it's bad, do it I want him, I just want to taste him don't hesitate*
-smiles-
how do u know I'm not stupid *thinks: ur stupid enough to back down to someone as hot as him*
u are not stupid, u are smart, kind, loving and a nice and sweet person -kiss your lips once again-
u are not stupid, u are smart, kind, loving and a nice and sweet person -kiss your lips once again-
*thinks: more* *thinks again: but Ben, forget him* *kisses back hard* I was stupid enough to let u go
-smile and wrap my arm around u- Ik but I'm here right
*kisses u* dà mn it y did I think letting you go would be better
for me it just made things a whole lot worse
-kiss back-
*thinks: ur cheating, idc I love him and always will, what if Ben finds out, he won't*
-smile- I will make sure he won't find out
*smiles* I-I love........ nvm I can't say that to u anymore
-smile- I love u
*thinks: god y does he have to be so dà mn hot*
I love u to
-smile-
*smiles back than frowns*
what's wrong?
my parents want to put me up for adoption they just said it
so I'm trying to hold back tears, nobody want me
-hugs u-
if nobody wants me than there is no point in living bc I will have no where to live except those ugly foster homes or outside
-hugs u- I been through a lot of foster homes
*looks down* I'm to weak to do that I'd probably be better killing my self
I'm gonna go die in hole bc that's what everyone wants it will probably make a thousand of people happy when I die
it won't make me happy
*kisses u and gets up* bye forever ig *cries*
I never knew so many people could hate on just one person
I won't kill myself if it makes u happy ok I love u
-smile and kiss your lips- I love u more
prove it *smiles*
tomorrow when u charge ur iPad u can prove it
hey
hi
so...
.......
um
I saw your post
which one
all
are they bad
idk, but I'm tired
of what
I been working a lot
oh ya Ik how that feels first I had to babysit some kids for like 4hrs than I had to take care of animals ldk how long then I had to do a photo shoot and than kick boxing
so I practically was running everywhere
I went to work, went to the story, took my cuz to the park, went back to work and then back to the store
not to mention the big fight yesterday with like half the middle school football team
I will never try to pick a fight with them again and it wasn't even half it was like 8-9 boys
cool... ig...
not! I need to stop with these fights *face palms* it wasn't my fault
-shrug-
u must be very tired bye
*thinks: shît he comes to me like this what did I do*
look I'm sorry ok, I'm just not happy rn, I got fired and I got kicked out of every place I been to today
*hugs u* oh I'm sorry u know u can talk to me if u want
-sits down on the bed- I just wish I had the people I love back into my life
*looks down* I wish I had people that loved me but I'm nothing to my family I bet u were everything to them *smiles*
-lays on my back and looks at the light-
I bet they would be devastated if u died, while mine, mine wouldn't give a shît if I died or killed myself or any shît like that
princess(new member) is here rn so ig this is by bc I'm leaving pc
what!?!?! no u can't ur the only one that truly listens to me and cares about me
not u to plz u can't leave me plz don't go
*cries* ur the only one that cared
u got Ben now, no one needs me here
no plz don't go I still love u plz *cries* he doesn't listen to me like u do I will cut without u I will die without you
-sign- ugh fine
*cries* u are the only one I've actually cried over in real life I'm shaking rn I don't want u to leave
I won't leave
*perks up tears in my eyes* really !
-sign loudly- yes really
*thinks: if he goes idk what would happen bc it would probably be my fault just like Steven*
*runs a hugs u*
this is not your fault it's my ex I had before u
what happened
(thinks: I want to tell her my ex wants me back, and she missed me, but at the same time I already love someone more then anything but she has a bf)
*thinks: I still love him......I just don't know how to tell him*
(thinks: how will been feel about this?)
*thinks: Ben, Ben is-is never going to find out
u know u have to tell him
*thinks: it's not like Ben payed that much attention to me anyway*
tell him what we kissed well I did actually he-he didn't care
(thinks: would it be bad that I want to kiss her but at the same time I'm scared)
*thinks: it's not my fault Ben didn't care I kissed Micheal so y would he if I did it again*
(thinks: I'm going to kiss her, but what if she don't kiss back? what if I get rejected?)
*thinks: what if he still hates me tho*
*thinks: I can do this Ben is barely talking to me rn anyway*
(thinks: forget it idc anymore, I love her and I will kiss her if I want to)
*thinks: I love him tho, I crave him*
-walks to u and kiss u hard-
*kisses back hard*
-smile and starts kissing your neck-
hmm~
-lays u on my bed-
*thinks: I crave him so much*
-still kissing your neck and suck lightly- do u want to do this?
I'm cool with it if u are
yeah, I'm asking u bc I don't want to rush u into anything
rush *laughs* ur not rushing anything
-smile and takes my shirt off-
*thinks: he's so hot*
-smile and kiss your cheek and then nose and then your lips-
*kisses back*
(thinks: why does she have to be so hot and sexy)
*thinks: omg I still can't believe I left him* *kisses u hard*
-kiss back and smile-
*smiles* i love u
Micheal
I love u more
can u prove that
-bits your bottom lip and kiss u hard and takes your shirt off of u-
*kisses back and blushes*
-smile-
*kisses u hard*
-starts kissing down to your Brest-
*blushes deep red*
-smile- u are cute
thx*thinks he is so hot*
-smile and kiss u hard-
*kisses back*
I love u
I love u to
-smile-
*smirks* *thinks: god I miss him*
(thinks: why did everyone want us apart? they knew I love her more then anything)
*thinks: I hate my friends for splitting us up*
-hugs u-
*hugs back and blushes*
-smile- I love making u blush
I bet u do
-kiss your cheek-
*blushes* I love u
-smile- I love u to
I'm glad we started talking again
yeah
or I'd never be able to do this with u
Ik
*kisses u hard*
-kiss back smiling-
*smiles*
I love u so damń much
I love u to, to much to let u go
-smile- Ik
*hugs u* so don't ever leave me
-hugs back- I won't
*thinks: can I do this in secret will he except that*
(thinks: I wonder what she is thinking rn)
*thinks p: will he rejects me it will be my first time cheating but ig it's worth a try*
-smile-
*frowns and thinks: ok ask already* um Micheal
yes
do u wanna keep this up in secret
if u want to
*thinks: he didn't say no, no he said if I want, does that make me a hoè*
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