i need anxiety medication

and i've spent so long trying to convince the people "love" that i'm anxious enough to have anxiety

i'm scared

i'm scared because if i'm diagnosed with anxiety, i'll somehow have an excuse. and i know that's stupid to say. and it doesn't make sense. but my mind makes sense out of it.

// this comment may be triggering to some // because if i have to take medication, i'll feel like i'm weak. i will loose a part of me that has always been there ever since i can remember. i don't know how i'll cope without that part of me, even if i hate that part. // trigger warning over //

in preschool, i remember being so worried about that fact that i was so different from other kids.

i remember vividly, when i was about 8, i went to my mom crying. i told her, "god is trying to tell me that something is wrong. i feel like something very bad is going to happen." from a young age, i've had this feeling of dread and impending failure in the back of my mind.

in 6th and 7th grade, i struggled with many physical results of stress. i don't want to get into it but i had to be taken to the emergency room and made multiple hospital visits because of it. it hurt me to walk. i was 12. i had no reason to be under enough stress to cause my body physical harm. still, nobody questioned if i was okay or if something was wrong mentally.

i'm 15. it took me so long to realize that constant anxiety and worry is not normal or healthy. i need help. but i can't bring myself to ask for it.

and now i'm stuck in this constant lull. i'm definitely not depressed. but the days keep passing. and every day is identical to the one before it. and all my feelings are numbed and ignored. and suddenly i don't have a reason to live anymore. i want to get better. i want to escape from this emotional, physical, artistic, and mental lull. i want to be able to look forward to tomorrow again, rather than dread it. i want to be calm. i don't want to worry anymore.

dude,,,I'm really sorry for you.I don't really know about this so I don't think I could help,but I stay safe please ♥️

hey stay strong, I don't know much about anxiety but I felt identified specially with the last comment. If you want someone to talk to, count on me:)

I understand not wanting to lose who you are, but I feel that if you want to stop these anxious feelings, you should get the medication. Especially if you dread each day. You don't want to be miserable for the rest of your life. If you think you should get the medication, I say do it.

Just because you don't have it as bad as some people, doesn't mean you're not suffering. I don't know you that well, but I don't think you're overreacting. If you don't know if you have it, get the doctor test thing.

hey, I totally get it. I'm on antidepressants and anxiety meds. it definitely does call make you feel like a you've lost a part of yourself. but without them, I'd be a nervous wreck. I promise, it's worth the small loss of identity. it really does help.

I totally understand

I have anxiety too and my parents are definitely not down for me to get meds. it's a different problem but I can understand why you'd have issues

I get you. but you have to go a psychiatrist first to get the prescription, so maybe if your mom hears you diagnoses from you psychiatrist it'll seem more real to her.

treat yourself like you treat your friends, because ideally that's what we should all be to ourselves. i know it's easier said than done, but please be kind to yourself friend 💕 there is no shame in asking for help

💗

aw no problem. I'm always here for you talk to if you need. good luck, I hope you are able to get some help and feel better ❤️

no problem, any time ❤️

if you ever need to talk about anything i'm always here! i hope things get better for you