you’ve put me on the spot with that question soooo give me time to think because now im drawing blanks

it’s been 20 and i still have an empty head

you didn’ttttt, i was just distracted and caught off guard

i will make you a list with the old people names I like AND the reason why

you’re not getting a paragraph for each one

but here’s a list for you, starting with female names

ask and you shall receive, doll 😌

okay but have you seen the prince of egypt

that’s what made me fall in LOVE with that name

this is gonna sound awful but… was she white?

wow. ophelia would be a great first name, lia for short

i loved it (: i still pick it up from time to time but am nowhere near as good as I used to be

i’ve decided that im gonna call you opal. that’s your nickname from me. it’s settled.

that’s horrible, you need to watch it asap

the soundtrack is amazing

SEE that’s the problem, the miriams i knew were Asians or Hispanics and they were cool

ukulele

NO NO NO IT ISNT

i have an explanation as to why

hopefully you’ll like it

but it comes with another little remix explanation so give me a sec

what time is it for you

you live on the other side of the world from me 💀💀💀

it’s 5:13am, and before you ask I’m an insomniac so I haven’t slept but usually sleep during the day

things are alright. what about you?

nope, not tired at all

opal is sounding more suitable for you, little old lady

a long time, since i was like… 12 i think?

i think you’d be opal adjacent even if you only slept 15 seconds a day but… i have a feeling your mood would not be opal-worthy 💀

when i was younger, yeah but im used to it now and can survive off 4 hours of sleep

also i hope you know that now that im aware of the time difference, i will be keeping track of it since you’re the only person ive talked to thus far which makes you a friend automatically

are you great or just manic 🤨

my body adjusted to it easily

i mean it could be a bold assumption to say we’re friends, for all i know you could be talking to me because you feel bad for me 🫥

but i will keep in mind that something is wrong if you’re up that late

you never know?? people are weird

eh you’re a bit odd

but i like odd 🫶🏼

well if you don’t wanna be odd then I’ll take back what i said 😌

🫡 got it

yes i’m alright :) i’m glad you are doing okay

maybe, justttt maybe

fine

i did miss you

more than I’d like to admit

tell me how much since now you owe that to me

nevermind, now i don’t wanna know 🫥

momma always said not to chase, but to attract 😎

i do want you to say it BUT im not gonna chase after it if you wanna be little miss elusive 🫣

then be that way and never figure out anything else from me, i’ll just be elusive as well 😎

exactly so give up the act 🔫

i feel the need to bring up our convo from yesterday where I was talking about my hatred for me name because it isn’t letting me be the elusive creature I am

rightttttt

est

nah i didn’t oops

bc mine never come true

oh, must be nice

have two friends who are kinda dealing with the SAME exact scenario right now but it’s lowkey got me upset because these are also both people who have curved me so hard but now they’re complaining about how these guys are treating them badly andddd yeah

so my mood is a bit sour. like… you didn’t like what you could’ve had which is fine, BUT why are you running back to me in a way? like yes im a friend, but i don’t want to hear about how much you like this guy or another and they did whatever they did to you

i’m not an a hole so im just listening but like… i dunno it just sxxks

like, one guy said he wasn’t going to see this friend as a chore because she’s experienced that in the past, and after he assured her that she wasn’t one he just went ghost and is all over someone else. and my other friend, she’s liked this guy for a while but he’s just never available to spend time with her and rarely talks to her now despite saying he likes her so??? i don’t get any of it

i could never look at either of them that way again so that’s a relief. i just want them to get with someone and leave me tf alone. especially one of the girls.

but… lucky me i guess lol, always the listener 😎🔫

nah, not gonna tell them because then I’ll be the bad guy

i dunno i just feel like sh— for doing that

also thank you, i appreciate that

lol i took your advice and was told something really harsh and now im sad

it was more than harsh

like they really went for it, both of them but especially the one I wanted to go away

yeah she was the most cutthroat

long story short i was just the best temporary option because i would give her what she needed, she never really cared about me, said that im so insufferable that nobody would want to be with me even if I did treat them well, and apparently I seem desperate and she felt pity for me

there was more but considering she was yelling at me I kinda just zoned out

hurry back ): even tho i just responded i don’t wanna be upset and you help quite a bit

i think she said that because im like… too caring or whatever

overbearing is something she said but like… idk man i just wanna know how your day was and know the little things but guess that’s too fxking much 🙃

well to be fair, this was in our native language, some things don’t translate well to English anddddddd i also am paraphrasing because i def went into trauma response mode

she’s not really that high maintenance, im just not what she wants

im “unappealing by nature”

what do you mean by what do I mean

well this is also my first time not being someone’s floor mat so

it’s the way i immediately like… shrank back into my shell and kinda just stopped existing when this all happened lol

ohh… yeah life of a mixed race guy with a Chinese mom (: very traumatic and unhealthy

yeah but then i also feel bad

and given my track record as a 22 year old man who has yet to even have his first kiss…. i feel like she might be onto something 😎

oh my trauma response is dissociation and out of the 3 or 4 f’s mine is fawn and flight so I tend to run from my problems lol

apparently not good enough lol

girl it’s not a psych thing?? have you heard of fight or flight? like what your natural response is? there’s more than just fight or flight

fight, flight, freeze, fawn

yeah

but anyway im too sad

that was supposed to be “still” and not too but you’re helping just by listening to me

you help a lot in general

yea (: your pretty alright i suppose

you’re actually more than that but we’ll keep the rest under wraps for now

that’s much appreciated, pretty girl <3

come back ):

of course i am

im alright, still kinda blah but also just trying to stay chill

blah meaning sad btw

no, it’s alright

i much prefer the idea of doing something to take my mind off it

i dunno

or you pick for us (:

no opal, you didn’t 🫶🏼 swear

im just not good at decision makingggg

let’s dooooo

a picnic 🫶🏼

i know you’re asleep by now, but it’s okay pretty girl 🫶🏼

i’m good, how’s my favorite girl been?

happy to hear it, pretty girl 🫶🏼

you’re a menace for making it my choice

butttt how about that picnic

quite literally dealing with it solely because it’s you 🙄

hey any girls I’m ashley

the prettiest girl i know seems to have disappeared again, how depressing

Hello I’m henry.