{click} I forgot to do this click thing on my last post whøøps. Anyways, tonight's been a really confusing night for me. So, I am a very 'control freak' kinda person, it's my nature. I also used to be dieting, and my parents didn't know. Whenever they cooked a meal that was against my diet, my heart started to race and I got really anxious. My parents are really health conscious, and I knew they wouldn't approve of me dieting, so I never told them. Tonight was the first night in a while where the meal was against my diet, and it didn't feel as stressful. It was weird, and unnatural. Without that stamina and drive and fear, I feel like I'll never be able to keep up my diet. And the fact that I didn't feel like shít for an hour after is new too. I kind of miss it. I feel like this with a lot of other things too, like sèlf harm. I really am confused and scared. I don't know what's going on.

sometimes i miss being super dèpressed. it's weird bc i kinda like being sad? but at least we have each other:))

I don't want to say I understand how you feel (because I know that makes me feel kinda worse??) but I definitely get what you mean when you say that you miss it. sometimes I think it's because we've grown to be so attached to our habits and illnesses that they become like a friend. and when you try to let that friend go, it's hard because you want to run back to them even if they weren't good for you. please don't run back to those bad "friends" because you miss them, you are so strong and a lovely person. you can accomplish anything <3

I don't think it's selfish at all to think like that, your problems are specific to you and I can guarantee you there is no one who is in your /exact/ situation right now. people have probably suffered from situations like yours but not exactly. and you've encouraged me through hard times so I think it's only fair I do the same (that and I care about you a whole lot) ily too fren, keep fighting for us 💕

no problem, I'm always here to talk to if you need it. support is very essential for anyone going through anything and I'd hate for you to have no one to turn to.

i'll be on tomorrow as we don't have school and then i'll try during school to post, but until i get my grade up i can't have it in front of them at home :(

I understand when you say it's a little better being sàd. it's because it's peaceful and you have time to yourself

I know

my cousin is a baby and is tired thats why XD

我很好，謝謝您！😂 btw my name is lily, hbu?

so I hurt my knee and it's painful to walk on and if I have to go to the doctor they'll want me to take off my parts so they can see my hips and knees and such but that means they'll see my cuts if they don't heal before that possible trip to the doctor and I really can't tell anyone about that irl not yet, I'm not ready.

pants*

thank you, I really hope they'll heal before then, I wanna make sure I'll be totally fine even with the cover up on.

lol I didn't feel like logging out of my spam account so yeah

YES

yeah I thought about that, they probably would be able to be hidden by boy shorts but I don't own any (I want some though) and I'm not going to add on any more for a while hopefully.