WOW! This is absolutely incredible! This is my favorite clip I've read from you! So good! I feel like you and I write in a kind of similar style, which is what makes it so hard for me to find any advice to give you. Not only that, but this clip is better than mine and how am I supposed to criticize that?! There are some grammatical mistakes but those don't matter as I have them all of the time and so does everyone. Oh my goodness, I can't think of anything!!! Okay. okay.... okay. (I'm thinking)......... I CANT DO IT!....... I guess, if anything, I would say that some more basic details could be used in some places. Like about the horse thing (don't know what to call it. 😂) you could have added some more details describing it so readers can get a better picture? But even that isn't really vital, just something that could maybe help. 💕