barely surviving at this moment in time, but it’s alright

like… literally feel like I’m on the verge of just giving up almost every day lol. you’re quite literally the only reason i haven’t, though.. I’m sure my lack of presence doesn’t make it seem that way. but again, don’t wanna burden you with my current thoughts and feelings.

i know babygirl, but you’ve got your own things to deal with and it’s always just been a habit of mine, with literally everyone in my family as well, to just not share what’s going on. a bad habit, obviously

i know lydia. but at least i made you aware of what was going on, it might not seem like much to you but it’s a large step towards improvement for me

don’t apologize, i definitely could’ve worded that better because reading it back, it sounded defensive

really isn’t

anyway, I’ve missed you nonetheless

and i love you. a lot.

anddddd not gonna lie, seeing my brothers celebrate Father’s Day and not having a dad that’s worth anything (or alive), plus not being able to see the kid I do have kinda made today feel a bit.. not so good. buttttt it honestly just made me more eager (? idk if that’s the right word tbh) to start a family with you in the near future. if you’d like, obviously

plus it sux because my sister is like… not doing so hot, but she asked literally all of our siblings except for me to take care of her kids for her so yeah- that was the start of it lol

because I’m the only one that doesn’t have one of her kids to watch. i mean they all live a bit closer so it makes sense but still

i mean, she’s got enough going on as it is so im not going to hold it against her, but yeah. it hurt quite a bit

but anyway, no more sad stories that have to do with me feeling not so good because it’s making me feel that way all over again

that sounds like a good idea

mm… outdoors

actually, shopping would be kinda nice- then maybe grab some takeout & have a beach picnic or something like that?

alright, my love <3 remix me?