i understand you must be in pain,I'm going through the same feelings myself,I am known to apparently be 'to hard on myself.' but it's who I am-if your going through a hard time,you need to tell someone you can trust,it helps,i advice some one in your real life-dong get me wrong,I would love to help you all the way,but it's better when you say it to someone-and can help you get through

just sold advice

*some