Yay you're back!:)

(this is alyssa btw it's my spam acc if you didn't know😁😂)

yeah:) and I know who ya are, lovely!

thank you so much, Jackie. I appreciate it :)

@jackie I'm okay, how're you?

JAYYYYYY

I'm glad to hear it:)

Julia 💞

❤️❤️

YOUR PROFILE PICTURE HOLY

WHAT WHAT

ITS SO BEAUTIFUL IM ACTUALLY WHDJAJDKS

BBY THANK YOU

asdfghjl is this your writing bc dayum is beautiful🌻💛

aw thank you so much

listen you're okay, alright? I love you. you're okay, I promise. it'll be alright.

I love you too. I do. I know. thank you.

okay, good girl

mhm. you're my rock, you know that? I know I get crazy and down and you're stuck in some sort've emotional rollercoaster from hełl with me, but you keep me steady and you love me and that's all I really need. I appreciate and respect you so, so much.

I appreciate you too

and I have a lot of respect for you as well

that means a lot. and thank you for taking interest in some half-aśsed flower doodles

I appreciate that, thank you.

I love them

I love you

and your writing, which I miss and I don't want you to stop with it.

I want you to continue it and continue in eng lit and be an incredible teacher.

I appreciate it, but I just don't have the drive anymore, I really don't.

yeah, because I did that.

I did this to you Jacob!!!

I fûcking ruined everything single good thing in your life

no you didn't do it

look, it's fine, i don't even have the time anymore, it's no big deal. it was just some awkward emo phase thing idk

what? oh my god stop it

its not some phase jake don't you get it? it's you

it's your identity and everyone loves that about you

what do you even mean? I don't need it

no it's fine

fine. take away art out of my life. I haven't had any drive for it since way back in damñ July. it's just some phase.

no it's not

it's not like that

I miss your writing. my heart caved in when you said you destroyed your journal. there's like fire and war raging inside of me when you say you're done

oh god Julia i don't know what to tell you, I just don't know how to do it anymore

i shouldn't have but I was mad and I did, and I don't miss it.

because I broke you. you thought you lost me. because things at home aren't good. you told me the day we met that pain inspires poetry.

I miss it. I miss you. your writing isn't all your are, but it's sure is a hełl of a big part of you.

yeah well not anymore

I know. but for some reason I just can't anymore. nothing good comes out of me.

don't say that

it's the truth, I can't anymore

I'm helping you get back into this. I will not let you lose this too.

this isn't something you can just give up, it's never going to leave you. it's just up to you to use it.

I don't want to hear you say can't.

I miss you and I really want to help in any way that I can.

I can't Julia

I've lost it

no

no you haven't

I really have, I'm just not that happy anymore

I know. I'm sorry I can't help you. I'm sorry I did this

I wish I could make you happy.

my heart is breaking, just having to see you this way. and for so long. I am beyond sorry.

it's alright, and you do make me happy dw

you don't have to be

no, it's not alright. I did this to you. not enough. I am. my heart is broken. I love you so much and I've hurt you so much. you don't do that to the people you'd die for.

oh Julia

don't worry about it

I do. I will.

why?

because I've destroyed every bit of you

and all you've loved

Julia, come on

you can't tell me I'm wrong about it

you know it's true

yeah but it's alright though

it's chill

how could be?

I don't know

I guess I just overlook everything idk

do you even miss it?

miss what, Julia?

writing

idk my writing was pretty emø

it wasn't about anything important anyway

stop saying that

so your writing about Payton, Andy, Carlos, Ali, Kaylah, Cammi, Avery, your parents, me, your dreams, your long nights, Venice, all of that was nothing?

oh come on, I don't even write about Ali anymore, I gave up on that shīt

I guess it was nothing because if it WASN'T nothing, I wouldn't have put a cap on it

it's okay if you do, i didn't mean anything about that

yeah, and it's still important

I really don't lol

you know, i don't think so. because it seems to be over now, for whatever the reason may be.

I know you don't.

seasons, Jake

it's not over, you're just taking a break however long that may be, and that's okay.

it's not seasons, I just think I've outgrown it. I just don't have the motivation anymore

Jake.

you'd be upset if I said that about my art wouldn't you?

yeah i guess

but i just don't have the spirit anymore, Julia. I just can't make myself do it. I'm sad and confused

so you can sort of relate?

don't ever do something that won't make you happy. however, you can't let this go. don't give up, please. things take time, they do. and they get better, I promise you that.

I've dealt with that before when it comes to my drawing and painting

yeah, thanks

and I guess so

trust me?

yeah

promise

I promise

good