bye.

* crying * I-I’m sorry.....!!!

F-for what...?

everything....!!! I was, i am a dįčk....!! I let jealousy take over because..... I just didn’t want you guys together.... all because I just.. enjoy bring people down with me....!!

I should’ve just killed myself....!! I just make everybody hate me at the end.

It’s okay, really

And I hate you.

then I should do it.

thank you..

that’s what I need...

And please don’t..I know this is probably not a good thing to do but, Do you wanna hug?

*pokes self in eye with needle* godâmnit.

I don’t deserve..... i never did..

Well, I feel like you do deserve a hug.

NO, I DONT, I JUST WANNA BE HUNG UP AND FORGOTTEN!!

...no one will forget about you if you did that. I wouldn't ever forget about you even if you forced me to..I wouldn't forget about you.

* Burst of tears *

*hugs you gently*

* continues crying * IM SORRY...!!! I REALLY AM...!! I JUST DIDNT WANT TO BE LONELY AGAIN, I JUST WANTED TO BE LOVED....

*continues hugging you gently* It's okay, really I accept your apology.

... ever since my grandpa’s death, and my mother threatening to sent me away if I don’t get good grade, I’ve lost it... along with the fact that I have IED disorder...

*rubs your back*

now... I’ve just made a huge mess... and idk how to clean it up...

Well, my advice is to take one step at a time and remember you're not alone in this. Start trying your best to get good grades, you probably are but keep trying and don't keep your emotions bottled up. Talk to someone about it and if you don't wanna talk to someone, you can write it down in a notebook or journal. Remember you're not alone in this.

...ok... I’m not sure about the grades... I already have 2 F’s.. probably 3.

and we only have 20 or less days of school...

Well, ask your teachers that the class you have Fs in for some help and how to get your grade up

* looks down * that’s not gonna work...

*hugs you more* Then you have friends who will help you out whatever you need, you just need to ask them and same thing goes with the teacher thing. I know it's probably stupid and awkward to do that but, if you give it a try, that shows you're not stupid or anything, you're just asking for help and that's okay. *rubbing your back*

but I brought it to myself to this because I became lazy....

And that’s okay, I’m lazy too

I’ll help through this one step at a time if you want me to

t-thank you..! * hugs back, slightly sobbing *

*rubs your back* you’re welcome

* hugs tighter * ...

*rubbing your back gently*

I had a nightmare last night....

Wanna talk about it or not?

* nods *...

Alright, you can start whenever you’re ready.

I was at my school’s cafeteria, I was just sitting there until I noticed my first ever crush sitting at the table in front of me with a group of people, at first I couldn’t make out any of their face since everything was blurry except for her.. then everything was clear, those people were my ex’s and crushes. I slowly got up.. I just wanted to get away. But they seem to notice me and I could hear them laughing about me... I went to bathroom hoping they will just go away.. I was wrong, a few of my male ex’s came in and told all my wrong, telling me stuff like, I was useless, they shouldn’t have dated me, etc. I just held my hands to my ears, have my eye shut tight hoping it be over. After a while I hear nothing, I open my eyes and suddenly I was at a park. I looked around and saw someone with a hoodie on, sitting on the ground, a few feet from me, facing a tree. I had no idea who it was. But when he said “Hey” I almost lost my balance. ( idk if you remember that told you about that one guy who kinda... sexually abused me, either way that’s him.. ) I just stood there in silence, then he said “honestly I would’ve had treated you better if you stayed longer...”, before I could have said anything he immediately turned around, pointing a gun at me, and shot. I woke up, well I thought I did... I was in a black room, there was only a lightbulb that was hanging from the ceiling that barely lighted the room. After a few minutes, it started blinking on and off repeatedly, until it stopped. Then there was a rope hanging from the ceiling and a stool was directly under it, then I saw my... cousin.. ( one that did suicide not to long ago... ) they just looked at me for a sec, I wanted to tell them to stop, but couldn’t even speak or move..... then.. did it... i was able to move right after, i slowly got closer to their body... crying.. then a truck out nowhere, crash into the room, hitting me, then I actually woke up, and started... crying... ( sorry it’s a lot... )

It's okay *hugs you more*

* sniff * ok.

*rubs your back gently*

* tears up a bit *

If you need to cry, then do that.

the fact that I “thought” I saw him today, haunts me....!

*hugging and rubbing your back*