ok so my guy friend who walks me to class everyday and stuff and like sits with me and is actually interested in me sat in the front in physics today with people who don’t like me and i blew it off but like on the inside I’m like wow ok

and like it was bound to happen and I shouldn’t take it too personally because eventually people just kinda leave me on the shelf and forget about me after a while and i just got really sad?? like i don’t wanna be bothered by this but at the same time i was like “oh ok” and i really just felt like crying at that point

I took a video of the doggo when I got home today, will it make you feel better if I send it to you

but having a panic attack in front of a class is the scariest thing ever cause like most of that class hates me and i know that they’ll just make fun of me

also I’ve been missing my dad a lot lately and idk why but like i just miss him and i guess it’s because of my whole situation with my stepdad cause he’s angry at me and now I’m a problem in this family and the cause of most of the fights between my mom and my stepdad

like my dad would be mad at me but he wouldn’t call me a problem or anything like he’d probably stand up for me

but whatever

also i have all my dads old t shirts and it’s making me sad cause now they don’t smell like him which is weird but like my dad has this stuff from bath and body works that smelled so good and all of that good smelly stuff is gone and I’m sad cause like I barely remember that smell now

I just wish he was here and not there but at the same time I wanna be there and not here