also if we talked on hangouts im getting that back soon i’ve just been so disconnected everything is happening all at once

let me overshare holdon

my dog is sick and genuinely on the brink of death hes only 3 i dont eben know what to do and my grandma has cancer and i didnt do great on my act im gonna retake it anyway but idk what to do i didnt have enoigh time i just bûłłšhîttéd it at the end bc i had 5 min left and 20 questions to answer im so sick and tired and bored and alone and alone bc i made myself this way and work is annoying my boss is genuinely insane im not eben joking at all and the people i work with cause so much drama and thsi guy i rlly care abt is always here for me and always so nice to me and it makes me fee guilty like i domt deserve it i feel so gross

im really so bored with life

im rlly doing all this for college when i tryly dont want to go but i will anyway and i have to get scholarships too and go to college and get a job and pay taxes and die

i really have no desire to do anything in life not in a career sense i wanna do graphic design but i dont really jsut?.!!?.!,! idk if this makes sense but i know what i truly want to do is unaffordable and unattainable and i dont want to get married and habe kids and all thay just my future makes me sad

i feel like i peaked in like 7th grade honestly i feel like i’ve felt everything to the extent that i can feel already and i’ll just live out my life in the most boring bland way

anyway love u guys sorry i havent been posting i’ve been here i just dont know what to post but i miss talking to everyone i really do

I’m so sorry about everything. I’ll be praying for your dog and your grandma. It’s ok to not have done well the first time on the act, I know tristin took it once and got in the 20’s but took it again for reasons I don’t remember and got a 15 because he flew through it. testing is hard áf. I run out of time constantly. I don’t have the same work experience but school drama has eaten me alive before, I know how tiring and anxiety-inducing it is, I hope your boss takes an f îñg chill pill. and ma’am you deserve ALL the love and kindness whether it feels like it right now or not. I know saying that can’t change how you’re feeling but I just wanted to put it in writing that you’re wonderful and I truly believe you deserve happiness. I was forced into campus college bc of my parents, I legit filled out maybe two scholarships but my college gave me an unexpected huge one and I couldn’t turn it down (idk how the h e c k). but online is a much better fit for me, maybe it would make college more enjoyable for you if there’s no way of getting out of it? best thing to do would be to find connections in your community with graphic designers and that’s something actually helpful about college, they can get you in contact with those kinds of people. but you can always reach out to companies and their workers personally, submitting some work to themselves. you don’t have to get married and have kids my dude, don’t worry about other people’s’ expectations. my friend who is 50 constantly got asked “why didn’t you have kids???” and she’d always explain that she didn’t feel the need to, like it wasn’t what would fulfill her in life and I know that’s hard for some people to get. it’s a little hard for me to get just because I have a motherly nature but at the same time I’m like yo kids???? are a burden???? so I’m in between and am going to wait a long time for kids until I’m sure. I feel the boring bleak thing, I’m not sure how to help with that but even forcing yourself to go hang out with people and talk to them makes the days more meaningful whether those interactions are very exciting or not. I’ve found myself enjoying talking with people and making friendships and idk when that started to happen but I think it did when Tristin left and I felt so alone. and I mean in person friendships bevause despite all of us on here loving and supporting one another it’s still hard to not be in person. idk if any of this helps but I hope you feel better

awe leah i’m sorry ur going through this :( hopefully your dog and grandma will be ok. u deserve love and happiness and things will get better, even if it doesn’t seem like it now ❤️🧡💓💞💙💞💙💞💜❤️💛💚💘💞💗💙💙💓💞💚💓❤️

^^^ hey im really sorry that all this is happening and remember that we are always here for u if you need to rant or let anything out. motivating yourself to do stuff is so!!difficult!sometimes but i promise you you’ll find a way to enjoy life again (this sounds so cheesy i’m so sorry) and what u said about not deserving kindness is very wrong you are a great person with so much to offer to the world and you deserve every great thing there is to offer 💞💗💓💘💖

I’m so sorry everything is going on, I just hope you stay strong

I hope things in your life get bet

better*

I’m so sorry. please don’t apologize!!! I completely relate to what you’re going through, I’m praying for you and your grandma and dog:(<3 I’m here if you need anything please don’t forget to take care of yourself 💓