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đź’š Thank you. It's not necessarily that I see myself as broken (although I do sometimes). It's more like... Well, in a really weird way I'm afraid that people are going to be gentler with me and kinder to me just because I have something wrong with me. I really wish people would just always assume they don't know how much pain a person is in and always always be kind first.
Part of the issue is when I used to live at home, my stepmom would say not so kind things to me, blaming me for a lot of their financial difficulties (which is quite the blow to one's self-esteem, let me tell you), and when I would talk to my dad about it, he would never stand up to her or defend me, because she had anxiety/PTSD/depression/whatever it was at the time. So basically she could say what she felt like saying to me and I just had to be understanding because I didn't have a doctor's note saying my emotions mattered as much as hers. And I guess now I'm afraid of how I feel mattering more to my parents only because I get so anxious and sad, not just because I'm their daughter.