I cannot emotionally handle being attracted to more than one gender because I have a magical thing called ✨trust issues✨ and an enchanting characteristic called ✨obsession✨. Basically, it takes longer for me to trust people, especially people who I know I could be attracted to because I know that if I spend too much time thinking on how I'm attracted to them, then I'll start instinctively objectifying them. And I don't like that. And they don't like that. And eventually it starts to feel like I'm surrounded by perfect, attractive people, and that makes me realize that I'm the only person I don't find attractive, which leads down a darker path. I'm not too asexual, though, because, again, I have objectifying problems when I'm obsessed with people. I love all you guys (as friends, lol, don't worry)! But that life ain't for meeeeee!

EEEEUUHHHHH PEOPLE ARE SCARY AND INTERESTING!!!

yes hi, you don't want to be trans. it makes you want to die every waking minute of every day. you don't want to be LGBT. it makes people want to kill you and deny you your rights and their are currently camps in russia where we're placed and murdered. in the holocaust we were one of the main groups attacked. being LGBT isn't all flower crowns and community and whatever you see on the internet. it's also being disowned by your family and being denied jobs and getting beat up for trying to go to the bathroom. don't romanticize our experiences.

your right to exist isn't a national debate, don't start wishing it was. just enjoy being able to walk out the door and have people pass you without flinching because you're nervous that they might start to beat you up or pull out a gun. be glad there aren't large groups telling you to die and everyone just deeming it acceptable. be glad you don't have to worry about your family disowning you. be glad you don't feel physically ill whenever someone mentions you because they use the wrong pronoun and be glad you don't freeze up in public when someone misgenders you and be glad you can exist and nobody wants to change that.

You'd like to think I don't know these things?

No offense, I respect you and the LGBT community. I always have. However, just because you go through different struggles doesn't mean that your struggles are greater than mine. Don't tell me I don't know what it's like for large groups of people to want me dead. What did I do to say that you were weaker than me? Nothing. Don't act like this is some sort of "I'm bullied more/less" "I am harassed more/less" "I have a better/worse life". We're all people. Believe it or not, we all feel the weights you do. Differently, albeit, but equally. Your right to exist is not a "national debate", it's your right to exist in the way that is truest to yourself that is in debate. You know what is a debate? Abortion. Do you know what I've been called? A failed abortion, among other things. How do you think it feels when the entire society thinks you should have died in your mother's womb just because she didn't want you? I'm saying that we can relate. I'm saying that we should be on even playing field. I never once talked about LBGT at being a happy-go-lucky community to my knowledge. I talked about my experiences, which are valid because they are real and they happened to me. Why do you think I passively passive-aggressively emphasized trust issues? Because I'm perfect and I think everyone loves me? I've gotten so much stereotype and insult just because of my race and current OG gender. You think it doesn't make me sick to hear people ask me who my favorite process is or that I'm "cute" when I can't left a heavier barbell or when I wear (forgive me) a dress? My right to exist was and is an international debate just as much as yours is in several senses. Don't tell me not to belittle you when I haven't. Don't tell a poet and artist not to romanticize an experience that she once wished. The whole point of this post is that I'm not comfortable being straight even though I am straight, and you have a problem with this because of why? There are people who insult and belittle me just because of my beliefs as well, so I can take any more "pointless words" you want to throw at me for reasons that don't exist. I never once insulted you. I never once insulted who you are today. I never once told someone "don't be gay", and I've never harassed anyone on account of their sexuality. Do you think I'm not afraid of being physically abused or worse by strangers and peers as an Asian teenage girl? Do you think I've never been through paranoia an anxiety over the people around me? We're not that different. I mean no disrespect, but not every gay person is suicidal (some would say it's insensitive of you to say that, how ironic). You think I chose not to be trans on a whim? I struggled with this since I was five. I would beat up boys on the playground in first grade just because I was jealous of them. They weren't forced into dresses and called weak and lesser than. You think this ongoing LGBT violence I something I'm deaf to? There are millions of people who want LGBT to have more rights, just go to 80% of the Internet. I'm familiar with suicide and depression, HÉCK I don't think I have a single close friend who isn't gay and connected with depression or suicide in some way. I've BEEN disowned. I was an ORPHAN. Everything you're saying are things I care passionately about, so don't lie to yourself and tell yourself that you're alone. I'm allowed to be uncomfortable with my gender even though I'm straight. Listen to me, please. Abortion, racism, sexism on top of being trans. Do you think it was an easy choice for me? How strong and inhuman do you think I am, pray tell? In the holocaust people who stuck to their beliefs were attacked, and here I am standing on my beliefs for anyone to target me. Don't tell me being a same-sëx attracted straight Christian is easy. Don't tell me handling obsession is less than handling anxiety. People consistently deny my rights, too. People kill infants and the unborn instead of giving them a chance through orphanages like I was given. People of my religion and beliefs have also been abused and harassed by several groups, and it may surprise you that the LGBT community isn't perfect in that regard. They've thrown their fair share of hate crimes our way and gotten away with it. So have others, it doesn't make your community stand out because there are so many people who think that my values and reasons to live are invalid. I was told by both adults and children that nothing from my birth country was useful, that it was all trash. My country views my as unAmerican, and (because of a flaw in the government) suddenly, I don't have correct citizenship papers (even though I was never legally or illegally an immigrant). Talk about being at risk of being rooted up! My body actively tears itself apart multiple times a year, something else I can't help but be jealous of boys for. Everyone tells me I should die, based on this reasoning. Don't tell me specifically to be grateful for my lot when you HAVE a community who can relate to you. When you have a government to doesn't privately monitor your social media with everyone "just deeming" all of this "acceptable". Please get off of whatever platform you think you're on and talk to me like a real person. I want to level with you. We aren't as different as you think we are, we're just in differing circumstances.

Sorry, I didn't mean to existential crisis all over my words.