I just wanted to say that I feel horrible. I feel horrible for hurting you, and I can’t help but feel guilty for all the damage I caused you adira. I miss seeing you and talking to you, holding you too, and I know I screwed up, big time. and I feel really shxxty for it

and I know I hurt you terribly, I hurt you and I should never have done that to you. I know my apology won’t mean much, or I assume it won’t, I just felt a lot happier when I was talking to you

and I’ve thought a lot about it, the attention I recieve from you. I was a real dxck to you and I’m sorry. really sorry ):

I sat here today thinking about all the important people in my life and I realized you were one of them, and I realized it was a disservice to hurt you the way I did

I was worried you wouldn’t talk to me at all

I know ): and I’m sorry

I wanted to redeem myself in a way, ask for a second chance

because after careful thought, I’ve realized that I was scared of getting hurt, and because of that fear I hurt you

my heart is stubborn too, let’s say it didn’t wanna forget you adira

I came back because I missed you, a lot. out of all the people I’ve ever spoken with or interacted with, I’ve never met a person like you. or been so excited to talk to someone. and I realized that I was scared of being hurt in a way, a way that I’ve been hurt before

and I realized I did that to you, I hurt you the way I feared I would be hurt

to be in your life again? to be someone you talk to

I miss talking to you and being around you, not because of the attention but, because it’s your presence that I enjoy

ever since we split I’ve felt this hole, like something was missing. in the attempt to fill another hole I made two extra ones

I know you may not believe me, but I’m truly sorry. and i want to make it up to you, if you’d let me? I was a better person when i was with you. you brought out the best in me adira

I know.. and I won’t ever do that to you again. I know you can’t feel like you trust me, but all i ask is one more chance

I think I was trying to figure out a way to.. push myself away ):

and I know I was terrible, a d^k, a d^che, and I can never take back what I said or did

I was a lot happier when I was around you? today made me realize that it was a mistake what I did.

I missed you more than you could ever know? and im so sorry.. for everything

I don’t mind that, as long as I get to talk to you again? I will try everything I can to make it up to you. name it and I’ll do it

well, on Christmas you celebrate the holiday with people you love. I saw the mistletoe and thought of you, and how stupid I was. I got a wave of memories, like how we used to stay up together, cuddle under a blanket fort, and exchange songs

as long as I get to talk to you I’ll be a lot happier than before

I promise I won’t do that ever again

yk how you box? you can demolish me in the ring

done and done ✍🏼

can I share a secret with you?

I missed just talking to you in general. life is brighter when your here :)

why has it been a long day?

we could stay up? if you would want that?

I wouldn’t stand a chance against you 😂 id be dead in 10 seconds

after we cut ties, I would come to your page and just look at your bio. and this would happen multiple times a day? and I would imagine what I would say to you, what I could say to fix this

I’m so sorrry adira ):

and for that, I’ll give you allll my journaling pens are a truce

as a ^

usually if you worry about something you care about it right?

maybe be thankful you have the energy to worry about something, maybe that something is something you care about deeply?

well I’m glad to be back in it (:

do you have any new song recommendations?

they’re all yours *grins and grabs my journaling pens, carefully placing them in your palm* I got a Christmas gift for you, something not too fancy though, so don’t get too excited *chuckles and hands you the carefully wrapped gift* merry late Christmas?

whoever or whatever your worrying about must mean a lot to you?

again, I love strong women 😂

yes maam ✍🏼

it’s a Lego set? *chuckles and looks down at the box, helping you take off the paper to show the design on the box* a arcane Lego set :) since you adore the show

you know, she’s lucky to have you :)

WHAT 😂 beat me in a ring and I’d still be amazed

do you like it? *chuckles and moves my curls from my forehead to look down at the box* we should :)

goodnight adira x

hey adira :)

I can’t help myself 😂 have you seen strong women? they make me drool

I was hoping you’d ask that *chuckles and sits down on the floor with my legs crossed, patting the seat beside me* how are you?

my responses may be a little slow, my little brother wants to game with me :) letting you know

every person has a catch phrase 😂 that’s mine

*smiles and sits beside you to help you open the box* actually, adira, i wanted to talk about us? and what you expect from us? it’s been on my mind for the past few days

I’ve been pretty good :) why just alr?

good morning adira x

I would say “HOLDEN 😭”

and I respect that, I also want the same thing *grins and spreads out the Lego pieces*

no apology needed sweet pea

do you need anything? any sweets? I know periods can be painful, or that’s what I’ve heard x

good morning new best friend 🥱 how’s life going for you today?

DONT YELL AT ME 😂 ITS NOT MY FAULT STRONG WOMEN ARE H^T

*smiles and hugs you to my chest, relaxing at your touch* I’m just happy to be talking with you again. i definitely got my Christmas wish

do you not like it? :) I can change it

I’ll buy some right now x

I’m also tired 🥱 I was up last night watching arcane

arcane edits to be specific

well I wanted to talk to you again, talk to my friend mar, and make sure my brother has a good Christmas *smiles and shrugs as I look down at you* I just wanted my relationships to stay intact

scratch that, moon and star is so much better

I missed calling you moon :) or moonlight x

I love pens so it’s a deal 😌

we both have good taste

you deserve for someome to check on you adira :)

I don’t mind being that person for you

ofc moonlight x

good :) you deserve to be happy adira

maybe stay away from maddie, focus on yourself and the people that care for you

I love that nickname

I love you more adira :) we’ll be at this for awhile

now that I think about it, maddie might come back to you if they ever split

if they ^

do you wanna do something to cheer you up a bit? :)

all I’m saying is, maddie will realize she should have treated you better, just give it time

I love you mosttt x

and your an angel for that

all the gays listen to chappel *smiles and stands up, grabbing the remote* now what song are we playing from the queen of music?

miss you :)

also I forgot to comment on your last bit there

you’ll find more friends that want to treasure you, you’ll see x

nah I love you most x

I appreciate you too adira :)

good luck babe is such a good song, I never get s^ck of hearing it. h^t to go is also very good but hey, good luck babe can apply to.. maddies situation *laughs and plays the song, grabbing two remotes for our pretend microphones*

I missed you a lot more :)

I feel like we’ll never win, just say I love you back and forth

I don’t like backing down 😂

unless you box me then I’ll definitely run

I don’t think so, and that’s not because I don’t feel comfortable saying anything but, I have been really happy lately. talking to you and my friend mariah (who I’ve known for a long time), I’m happiest I can be right now

Mariah and Ava *** but I love how you ask, you’re such an angel

*grins to myself and admires you as you start to sing, shaking my head with a soft chuckle as I sing after you* I don't wanna call it offfff, but you don’t call it lovee, I just wanna l^ve someone that calls me babyyyy! you can k^ss a hundred boys in b^rsss, sh^^t another sh^t trying to stoppp the feeling

what do I get for winning? :)

I’d me mesmerized 😂 again, I love strong women

be^

so do I :) how are you feeling though? regarding everything?

*chuckles and stands on the couch with my hand in the air dramatically, chuckling before I start singing* I'm cliché, who cares? It's a s^xually explicit kind of love affairr, and I cry, it's not fair! I just need a little lovin', I just need a little airrr *jumps on the couch and sings a little louder this time* Think I'm gonna call it offf, even if you call it loveee, I just wanna love someone who calls me baby!

I’ll accept anything your willing to offer 😌

brownies sounds so good right now

what? 😂 I’d get on my knees for strong women

*smiles and kneels down in front of you to sing, leaning my head back when I do* well good luck, well good luckkkk well good luck babe! yeahhhh!

thank you thank you thank you thank youu *chuckes and takes the plate*

I’ll be a good boy 😂 no muzzle

*smiles to myself as I watch you sing and sings the last lyric with you, leaning against the table with a heavy chest and a grin on my lips*

*smiles and looks at you with a soft chuckle* I love when you call me that

that’s so sweet 🩶

WHAT 😂

oh nowww you don’t judge me

I agree *chuckles and smiles at the remote in my hand* this is the casual chappel experience

*grins and look at you with a tilt of my head as well* yeah :)

I enjoy talking to you too :)

don’t act like you wouldn’t enjoy it 😏

I’m a freak so this isn’t new 😂

please adiraaa 😂 pleaseee

I love making you smile and laugh *smiles and leans my head on your shoulder* you mean a lot to me :)

*smiles and interlocks our fingers, moving my chair closer to you* I love when you call me that *chuckles and dramatically places my hand over my heart*

🩶🩶

WHAT 😂

PLEASE ADIRAA

*smiles and rubs your shoulder with my thumb when I wrap an arm around you* I forgot how much I missed this

*laughs and lays down on the carpet, my hand on my chest* too muchh