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Hey, I don't know you really, but I know that whatever has happened to make you feel the way you do will one day lose its sting, and you'll be able to start feeling normal and happy again. It takes time, but eventually the tide rolls back and the waves stop drawing you in. You seem like a great person, and I'd hope that you'd just keep fighting for all those on here who obviously know and care about you a great deal, and for all those off of PC who wouldn't know what in the world to do without you. Just keep fighting it, beautiful.