so obviously in qùeer af

and my parents know

and I'm mormon

so today my mom was like

"one of you're favorite church leaders went through the same attractions as you. would you like to talk to her about it"

and I'm like no mom

girls are so cute how are people NOT attracted to girls

like this girl I have a MASSIVE crush on named Kate

her face and just ugh and she's so cute and nice and we have so much in common

also she's bi so I have a sort of chance with her

but she's a year younger so next year I'll be in high school so be able to talk to her and I'm too shy to ask for her #

I don't even know if she has a phone

I asked in the notes we pass

but I wasn't @ school today so I obv dint get an answer

I really likes like I was having a anxiety attack and I saw her in the hall and for a sec I calmed down

WHY DO I LIKE HER SO MUUUCH

I used to think I liked guys over other genders but now in like "yea I like girls more"

I know the feeling. I know it all too well.

ANYWAY

I was having a really masculine day and I was like "ugh boòbs" but I don't have a binder(obv with religious family) and ace bandages are NOT GOOD so I was like ugh and I decided to wear a baggy flannel BUT THEN I decided to put on my dad's cologne he never wears and my mom was like "what's that smell Aurora?) and was like "shít"

I told her it was perfume and she was like "I don't remember that one"

I thought I was doomed

I told her I never wore it because it was in my room

I LOST MY BEENIE SO I CANT DO THE WHOLE NONBINARYBEENIE THING AND IM SO MAD

why does gender have to exist

ugh

SO MANY GENDERS ITS SO HARD TO PUT A WORD TO THE FEELINGS

why is getting people to call me Rory so hard

like I don't new to have a reason I just want to be called that

(jk I have a reason but no one needs to know until I'm out to them)

only 2 of my friends have called me Rory

one of my friends? was like "no I'm going to still call you Aurora" even after I told her the reason

does anyone want to have an actual conversation cause I'm bored

my parents took all my clothes that they thought were too "boyish"

my mom caught me going into my bros room to find more "boyish" clothes cause my parents are like "your a girl all dresses for you" and HOW THE FLIP ARE CLOTHES "too boyish" THEYRE FREAKING CLOTHES THEY DONT HEAVE GENDER

I have when people gender things like the flip it's a fùćking object

RIGHT LIKE I WANTED TO SLAP THE STÜPID OUT OF THEM I WAS SO MAD

^^me 24/7

the thing is their fine with other doing it but they still think it's a "sin" but when I do it I'm a disgrace?¿?¿

I hate when people use the bible and religious stuff to hurt people and bring them down like HAVE YOU READ THE THING?? DO YOU EVEN KNOW JESUS?!!???! HE LOVED EVERYONE AND LIKE READ THE THING

my parents basically forced religion so me so like idk what i believe anymore but still that's not right

my fren is atheist and I'm really religious so it's really cool for me to see other religions and I would love to have a Muslim or Jewish friend cause religion is cool

I was raised Lutheran but my parents are making me hate anything to do with it now

I hate when parents do that like geez everyone's different