so excited to read this :) I love being able to count on your amazing entries for these!

first off, love the first paragraph! wonderful way to start this, it could really go anywhere from here

ahh your writing just makes it so easy to visualize the story and I love it so much

I think right when Edward is introduced, it could be good to add something more there. maybe a brief description of him or some unique mannerism of his

also it feels like there’s a little bit too much focus on the actions and what’s going on that as a reader I feel like a break to look around would be great, if you know what I mean. as a writer, I totally get wanting to just skip through all of the details that don’t seem to directly further the plot,

the “but I don’t really understand why” is unnecessary I think

loving the dynamic between these two characters