This is such a cool story, I loved reading it! I love the ideas that you have here and would love to read more of it! This story is really good so far and really easy to follow and become invested in! I’m more sure what exactly you have in mind for the rest of this, so this suggestion might not be super relevant, but I think you could make this even better than it already is by making it sound less narrated, if that makes any sense. I’m sure you’re aware of this already, but i think you could benefit by more showing and less telling. Other than that, I don’t really have many suggestions, I think this story has a really good flow to it which is usually pretty hard to accomplish. I love how you incorporated the dialogue. Thank you so much for entering, can’t wait to read more from you! :)